New year, new me

I’ve thought long and hard about if I want to continue with this blog idea as I had some nasty things said about me because of it. Not to me but about me and absolutely I heard about it. On the other hand every other bit of feedback I have had has been overwhelmingly sweet and positive. So… I’ve decided that I started this for me and I will continue it for me. 

Bullying isn’t ok and I won’t change who I am because of it. 

So… thank you to everyone who has sent me through words of encouragement or spoken to me directly about this. I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
This is a new year and I’m going to do the whole cliche “new me” post. I’m not going to let this negativity affect me anymore (of course if I have actually done wrong by someone I would be horrified and do anything I can to put things right!) and I’m going to enjoy my family and friends and focus on the positive in life. 

Join me friends in having a positive 2018! Positivity in how we treat people, positivity in how we deal with when others look to bring you down, positive outlook of life, positive positive positive (say it enough times and it sounds weird!) 

Here’s some photos from the last couple of weeks  🙂

We can’t use the slide in the manner in which it was intended but we do have a tone of fun!

For some people Christmas is stress free… for this Mumma it meant late nights trying to make it a magical Christmas for Tatum while Nick was out working hard on night shifts. This is my 1am I would rather be sleeping face! (I do love it though, honest)

Lazy afternoon drawing while the storm rages outside

Put the tiger in water and watch it grow!

What he thinks of shopping for new clothes for Daddy

Christmas baking with a toddler… two seconds after this photo there was mixture flying through the air!

Love you all,

Until next time 

Erin xx

The lead up to Christmas

This past weekend we put up our Christmas tree. Up til three weeks ago I was convinced we would skip it this year or at least do something on a small scale… too many things on this time of year, too difficult to try and find a space to put it, too difficult to crawl into the ceiling storage and find it, just one more thing to add to the to do list, because working mum life and Tatum hasn’t been all that interested in Christmas up til now so surely we could get away with it this year right??? 

Wrong! So so wrong! What was I thinking?!

Tatum LOVES all things Christmas this year! He got so excited every time we saw a Christmas tree or anything to do with Christmas really so I changed my mind. Then I had to break the news to Nick that we were going to have the Christmas tree up after all (he was rather excited to not have to dig it all out from storage). 
Then I took it further. I got a small tree about the height of Tatum and some little decorations and lights for him and let him go wild decorating his very own tree, and I made my own advent calendar filled with one of his favourite things in the world… dinosaurs! 

The look on his face when he saw the Christmas tree and again when he saw his little tree that he can decorate and redecorate to his hearts content… worth it! 

So our house now has the Christmas vibe going on which means Christmas music can now come out much to Nick’s horror. Although we seem to have found a happy medium with the music choice (go pentatonix! If you haven’t heard of them, look them up and you won’t regret it) and Tatum is getting right into the Christmas vibes and music. Next up… gingerbread house making! 

I must say it is nice to have a break from the constant fretting about the hospital visits and heart diagnosis I am still trying to wrap my head around and have something else to focus on. Also having Tatum mention the hospital less frequently is nice!

Until next time

Erin xx

Appreciation

Until you become a parent yourself, you never really understand and appreciate all your parents did for you to the same extent as before you became a parent yourself. You don’t truly understand and give them credit or gratitude for everything they have ever done for you and continue to do for you. A parents job is never done! 

These last two weeks have been a mixture of emotions in our house with going through lots of medical tests for our son. I tell you what, it was heart breaking yesterday as we headed out of the house to the car and Tatum turns and asks “Are we going to hospital to see doctor?”. It made me realise just how much his health has become a focus recently.

Holter Monitor on and stuck down so he didn’t pull the wires out 👌🏻

I so appreciate everything my Mum did for us this last week. When we spent the day at the hospital having a bunch of tests done, my Mum took over the mum role for the both of us. She worked overtime keeping Tatum happy and entertained and as still as possible for the tests which let me focus on what was happening, what was being said and just being there for Tatum. She fed us and got me coffee (the essentials of life!) and helped to distract Tatum and convince him to let the doctor do the necessary tests. I don’t know how I would have coped that day had she not been there for us!

Distraction from tests at its best! Fantastic idea from Mum! 👌🏻

We are needing to remind ourselves not to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him from anything that could harm him. He is a 100 mile an hour kid and doesn’t seem to ever slow down, he takes on life at full speed. We don’t want to be so focused on the dangers of life, even now with this new information we have about his heart, that we stop him from being a kid and learning from his actions. Right from the start, when he has taken tumbles while learning to walk we haven’t rushed to his side to scoop him up, we let him decide himself if he was hurt. Don’t get me wrong, there are some tumbles that you just know he is going to be hurt so we do rush over, and even when we don’t rush over we are fighting the urge to as we stay in place holding our breath until he pops back up dusts his hands off and turns to us with a smile as if to say “look how epic that tumble was Mumma!” (anyone getting Nitro Circus flashes here??? No, just me???) We don’t want him to be too scared to try new things or live life, the flip side of that is Mumma gets about 100 heart attacks a day as he tackles life full speed.

Food, one of the few things that will get him to slow down (well, sometimes!)

In saying all of that, we do have non-negotiable rules around safety and we do watch him like a hawk at times as his idea of a good time is aiming his bike straight for the stairs just to see if he can ride down them. On that note, one of our non-negotiable rules that he knows well is there is no riding his bike or trike or going in the bike trailer without a helmet. (We know you too well son, and we know you will try lots of new things and likely take many tumbles. Your head will be protected!) We also talk him through the things that he is looking to attempt (such as riding the bike down the stairs) so that he can start to get the basic understanding, as much as he can at his age, that not all ideas are good ideas and there are some “stunts” that just really aren’t a good idea.

He LOVES his bike!

 

Nick and I are truly blessed to have my parents as amazing role models, not only for us both and our marriage, but also our son. They give their all to him, they spend time with him and teach him and love him unconditionally. Tatum just adores them and the time that they put into that relationship really shows and he has all the time in the world for them.

 

Have a think back all, when was the last time you turned to your parents and thought of all they have done for you and thanked them, letting them know how much you appreciate all their sacrifices and actions so you could be the best you possible?

 

Take the time out today to appreciate your parents everyone.

 

Until next time

Erin xx

You got this Mumma

You got this Mumma, you got this Mumma… I repeat this over and over in my head.
We’re sitting in the waiting room at Starship Children’s Hospital waiting to see the cardiologist to attach a Holter Monitor to our precious 2 year old. You got this Mumma! 

Holter Monitor attached after much persuasion

You can keep it together, you can stay strong, you can fake confidence, you can smile, you can hide the worry in your eyes, you can do everything within your power so he doesn’t see how terrified you really are. 

When you’re a parent, one thing you want more than anything is for them to be happy and healthy. But what happens when they need medical help, what happens when your world gets potentially turned upside down from incidentally finding something may be wrong with your precious precious child? 

You know, I heard a new song this week and part of the lyrics go like this… 

🎶 and most Mama’s oughta qualify for sainthood 🎶

I like this line, as Mumma’s we do everything we do with our kids in mind, and we do an amazing job! But although we may qualify for sainthood, we are human and there are times we need to remind ourselves “you got this Mumma!” 

To the Mumma who is sitting in her car for 5 minutes of peace after work before collecting your child from preschool, you got this!

To the Mumma who feels like the house is out of control, you got this! 

To the Mumma who has run out of dinner ideas that your child might actually eat instead of sneak to the dog, you got this!

To the Mumma who just found out your child is sick, you got this!

To the Mumma who is hiding in the kitchen sitting on the floor eating chocolate she has stashed away at the back of the cupboard in that old vege box, you got this!

To the Mumma who feels like she will never be accepted by her in-laws, you got this!

To the Mumma who is up for the 100th time tonight because bubba just won’t settle, you got this! 

To the Mumma who isn’t sure if she’s doing and ok job, you got this!

To the Mumma who just needs to hear this today, you got this! 

We need to empower each other and lift each other up, parenting isn’t an easy gig and to all the Daddy’s out there, you got this too! 

You got this Mumma! 
Until next time!

Erin xx

Season of change

Seasons of change… they can be difficult, they can be exciting, they can be nerve racking, they can be tiring, they can be many things. For us it’s many things but mostly it’s learning how to ensure we still have quality time as a family and as a couple when our time together has been reduced.

Shift work. Anyone who has done, is doing or knows someone doing shift work knows how taxing it can be. 12 hour days are long and learning to sleep during the day isn’t easy. Add into that a wifey, full on toddler who never seems to slow down and study for both of us and it can make for a huge adjustment for everyone. For me, I’ve gone from having hubby here to help in the evenings every day after work – and as any parent knows this is the hour or two known as the ‘witching hour’ – to at times being passing ships in the night for days at a time as we both go about our work commitments.

Study study study

I’ve learnt that I have huge respect for any parent regularly doing this parent gig alone, it ain’t easy!

Nick has started a job that he loves, working with St John. This means 4 days on 4 days off, the first two 12 hour shifts are in the day and then the last two 12 hour shifts are in the night. He has had to learn how to sleep in the day and also when to sleep and when to stay awake until ridiculous hours of the morning just to make the sudden transition of when his body and mind needs to be awake and focused.
Anyone who has been through a season of change will find different things that help. For us, these are the two biggest things that help…

1) Be organised! A plan and schedule on the fridge and in a shared calendar on our phones is essential to knowing where and when we are at any time so we can plan ahead. I even went so far as to do up a full on schedule in excel to figure out when Nick is at work etc… can anyone say organization freak??? Having a plan helps us see when our family days are. Normal work schedules allow families the weekends together, whatever their plans are they generally have the weekends as a family. For us with me working full time in the weekdays and Nick working shift work that isn’t the case. To put it in perspective, once Nicks roster goes into the weekends there are 6 weekends in a row that are affected where he is either at work or needing to sleep through the day so he can work through the night. While Nick is in his 4 days of shiftwork we’re a bit like passing ships, we see each other very briefly before either I’m dashing off to work or Nick is heading off to bed.

2) Make the most of the time you have together! Take time to stop and smell the roses as it were. When your time together is limited you learn to appreciate the time you have together that much more. We make sure we have our family days together and any time we are together we make sure it is quality time, even if it is just a quick walk in the park after my work day finishes while Tatum rides his bike.

After work family time

Also I’ve learnt a whole new appreciation for the love and dedication of my family. My parents are truly amazing in how they help us out with Tatum and actively foster an amazing relationship between them. Without them I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the gym! While Nick is at work my Dad often looks after Tatum while my Mum and I take in a fitness class. Gotta get back to being fit and recover from these injuries!

“Here you go mummy!” He placed a single grain of sand in my hand with such a proud smile on his face 💙 Beautiful reminder to see the wonder in everything

Take the time to slow down and see the wonder in everything.

Until next time lovelies

Erin xx<<<<<<
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It’s been a month…

It’s been a month since I last posted and I’ve been telling myself I will do it once I get Tatum in bed or I will have time on the weekend… but this last month has taken all my energy and by the end of the day all I have wanted to do is curl up with a blanket and relax!

So here we are a month down the track and looking back we have had a long month. It started with Tatum coming home one day and out of nowhere he spiked a really high temp and started breathing way too fast. It was just Tate and I at home as Nick was at work so I called healthline to see if this was something that I should be getting him looked at that night or if it would be ok to wait until the morning. We ended up in the back of an ambulance to hospital and Nick left work and met us there. I am so thankful for all the work St John do and am very aware of the amazing service they offer. If you are looking for a cause to support I can’t recommend St John enough as they are very underfunded and are vital in our communities.

These photos were taken about 20 minutes before he suddenly spiked a temp. The middle one is hooked up to an ecg in the ambulance

After we got home from hospital I caught what Tatum had and ended up with a week off work where I had enough energy to look after Tatum in the evenings but needed to sleep through the day. After I started on the mend, Nick caught it and needed time off work too! All in all we have had a good few weeks where someone in the house isn’t well.

One of the many temps taken in those days

From Tatum’s trip to hospital we discovered through an ecg that there is something happening with his heart that shouldn’t be. We aren’t sure of many details at the moment but what we do know for now is that he is back to his normal self but it is still showing on further ecg testing. So for now we wait until we get our appointment for further testing with the cardiologist and keep an eye on him. I take peace of mind that they aren’t rushing for these next round of tests like they did with the last set and he is his normal “live life in the fast lane” self again so surely it can’t be that bad right?!

Tatum started on the mend so we celebrated by going for a ride on his new bike!

So it’s now the long weekend here and Tatum and I have escaped Auckland to relax in Whangamata while poor Nick has to work through… got to love shift work! But more about the shift work next time.

Best buddies going through the park together

Cherish the time with those you love everyone,
Until next time, Erin xx

Road to recovery

A year ago I had a 15month old and decided it was a great idea to go for a 5km run after not doing any exercise beyond a bit of walking since I got pregnant. Up until I got pregnant I had been working out a couple times a week but that all stopped when I was just too sick to think about doing much more than crawling onto the couch after work and resting while trying not to gag at the smells coming from the dinner hubby was cooking (he really was a saint, did all the cooking as I literally couldn’t stand it) 

I made it through the 5kms coughing and spluttering (my asthma really kicked my ass that day, I still maintain it was my body giving me payback for surprising it with a run out of nowhere) and at the very end when I had no more than 10 meters to go I jumped off something… worst idea I have ever had! My legs were not up to catching me and they buckled under the force of landing. In a one in a million chance bone met bone and I broke my tibia… not that I realized at this point. I hobbled around for a month on the broken bone as everything and I do mean everything pointed to an ACL injury which basically means you’re destined for surgery and there isn’t much more damage that can be done by continuing to walk/hobble. 

I had an X-ray within a couple of days and due to the location of the break (tibial plateau) and the angle of the X-ray they chose to take, it didn’t show. My Physio referred me to a surgeon who proceeded to order an MRI to confirm the ACL injury so he could schedule surgery. When the report came through it was a shock to everyone, firstly that what was presenting as an ACL injury was actually a broken tibia and secondly that I had somehow been getting around on it for a month. 

Thankfully my Physio got right onto ordering a full on leg brace and has had to put up with me since then. Not too long after getting the leg brace and crutches I had a massive fail and slipped out in the rain on some concrete and injured my shoulder. So now I had a bit of a conundrum. I wasn’t allowed to walk because of my broken bone but I was struggling to use my crutches because of my shoulder. Add on top of that a curious and full on toddler… I’m not too sure how I managed. Actually I do, I have an amazing husband who stepped in and made me take it as easy as possible and amazing parents who were always there to help when we needed it. 

Just as I was starting to come out the other side, a few days before Christmas last year I was driving on the motorway when a container truck changed lanes without looking and hit the back of my car. Thankfully, and I don’t know how, I managed to break free from the truck and straighten up. Then he hit the back of me again. To this day I am thankful for two things. One, that Tatum wasn’t in the car with me. Two, that by some miracle I didn’t end up either spun out across the other lanes of traffic or side on in the front of the truck. How I came out of that as well off as I did I will never understand. The car had to have a structural beam and bumper replaced and I had whiplash. 

Whiplash sucks guys, it really sucks. 

Fast forward to a few months ago when I was on my way home from work and stopped at an intersection, a young driver hit the back of me. This time Tatum was in the car with me. The force of this accident caused my whiplash (which hadn’t quite been fully sorted) to come back full force with a vengeance and include some nerve damage. Thankfully Tatum seems to be completely fine, I have had him checked out. 

I swear my Physio must not know what to do with me at times the number of injuries I have had in the last year! 

At the moment I still have nerve issues and whiplash issues but I have the go ahead for the gym (being careful about what I can and can’t do) so I am dragging myself there and working my ass off to try get my body back to where it should be with all the muscles doing what they need to do to hold my knee, shoulder and back where they should be to stop any further injuries. This is a journey of getting my body healed, and hopefully back in shape as a bonus! 

Anyone with tips, pm me! 

Until next time

Erin xx

This is us…

This is me. I’m a full time Mumma and Wifey that also happens to work full time. Nick and I (oh yea, my name is Erin by the way) have been married for 6 years and live in Auckland, our son Tatum (pronounced Tay-tum, I’ve heard many different ways though and no it doesn’t come from Tatum O’Neal) is 2 and just doesn’t slow down. We also have a dog, Bruno, and two cats, Java and Jersey. I’m so in love with our little family and feel incredibly blessed to live the life I live. Our little family is in a season of change currently, but more about that later. 

I’ve wanted to start writing some form of a blog for a while now but always stopped because I never knew what I wanted to write about or if people would want to hear what I have to say. But you know what… I’m doing this for me. Don’t get me wrong, I would be stoked if people actually want to read what I write but I’ve decided that I’ve wanted to do this for a while so I’m just going to start and see where it takes me!

I’m sure there will be many different tangents this takes so I won’t comment on what topics etc you’ll definitely see along the way but expect it to be somewhere along the lines of working Mumma life, family adventures, gymming it to recover from my injuries (yes, multiple injuries ranging from a broken tibia to nerve damage from a car accident all within the last year. Actually I’ve spent the last year being constantly injured and this doesn’t show signs of changing anytime soon but that’s a story for another day) and maybe anything else that grabs my attention… see, I really can’t commit to a single line of topics so you’ll have to come back to see where this thing goes. 

That’s all for now, 

Erin xx